My voice

Random thoughts about my voice:

It's not the sort of sound that grabs your attention. It's a more subtle instrument. It doesn't really have booming resonance nor does it have the most beautiful colour.

It's simple. It's clear. It projects well generally. It's versatile. I try to communicate text as effectively as I can with it. It's not one that is particularly unique but coupled with what I do physically on stage, it leaves some sort of overall impression.

I used to hate my voice. It was always "not enough". Not rich enough, not loud enough, not supported enough, not polished enough, not good enough.

As I approach my 40th year, I tell myself that my voice is good enough for now. I will continue working to better it of course but I no longer want to feel inadequate about it.

And I no longer hate it. Because its mine. Flaws and all.

Older Me, Younger Me

Looking at all the Eunoia Junior College students walking around the Ghim Moh hawker centre this morning, I was suddenly reminded of my time in National Junior College 22 years ago. I was having the time of my life back then. Life seemed carefree (that's why I did terribly at my studies!). I was surrounded by great friends and enjoyed singing in the NJC choir tremendously. I felt genuinely happy with life then.

Those two years were the end of my age of innocence. I started experiencing life's realities bit by bit once I graduated. The next 20 years comprised many lessons I wish someone had taught me earlier in life. But I guess you learn best through personal experience.

There are many things I would have told Junior College me to do. But I have the benefit of hindsight and life experience now. I think younger me always did the best he could along the way. Some of those decisions make me cringe now and some of those experiences still sting slightly. But I know they are mine and I am where I am now because those things happened.

I don't believe a singing teacher is simply one who imparts vocal knowledge. Music is life and I therefore use it as a tool to educate my students about life. I guess I am hoping they will learn to be bold and do the things my own fear and insecurities held me back from doing till much later in life.

Perhaps I am seeking reparation. But I am realizing more and more that I am probably exactly where God intended me to be. The only thing I can do is to continue keeping myself open to what comes my way and doing my best to stay teacheable, humble and malleable.

New Website. New Start

It's been 10 years since I left the familiarity of home to go away to the United States to study music. It's been a crazy and eventful decade in so many ways. While putting this website together, I was surprised at just how much I have done and how much I have grown in the last ten years. My life now is not quite how I hoped my career would turn out; but I am grateful for where I am. 

I am constantly full of thoughts about life and music and have decided a blog would be a great way to put those thoughts down in words. A colleague in NYC once said that she would definitely read my blog if I ever started one as she said I was always brimming with introspective reflections. 

So here I am writing. And I hope you will continue reading.